Full Concorde Report Obtained
Initial reports presented the inquiry's findings that part of the blame for the tragedy rested on Continental Airlines. When the Air France Concorde, speeding down the runway at Charles de Gaulle airport, hit a titanium strip reported to have come from a DC-10, it shredded one of its tires, causing chunks of rubber to be sent through a wing fuel tank.
With the tank ablaze and engine power failing, the supersonic plane plummeted into a hotel near the airport in a fireball.
Shaking Spears has obtained a copy of the full commission report which assigns additional blame in the air tragedy:
"(translation). . . the titanium strip's existence on the runway was an expression of the cultural hegemony of 'Continental,' a corporate robber baron whose name is itself a capitalist obscenity which flaunts its vulgar attitude of American exceptionalism and militaristic adventurism.
Continental has extracted its power through its feudal relationship between peasant and oligarch, demanding 40 hours of involuntary servitude each week in exchange for subsistence debt peonage, resulting in a recurring dialectic of the individual's existential pursuit of materialistic acquisition through which America's warrior-class and their military-industrial enablers are financed.
Continental's oppression extends out from its base in Houston, Texas, home of the first Imperialist Bush and aided by his fascist son who has twice conspired, with help from the Zionists, to thwart the natural progression of the working class towards the logic of collectivism.
This titanium strip-Continental-Bush axis of causality leads the commission to unanimously recommend compulsory multi-cultural re-education of all U.S. airline personnel who fly in and out of France. Allah be praised."
White House officials could not be reached for comment.